What’s your favourite application?

I would like to dedicate a moment for the phenomenon we all know too well: the facebook. Don’t worry; there won’t be any sad stories about how I spent four hours on facebook just to discover two of my friends discussing how they are never on facebook and that they should get rid of the habit of being on facebook. And this also isn’t a philosophical essay on how to get rid of all the application requests. No, this is more of an apology for my complete inability to manoeuvre in this kind of cyber space.

First of all, I want to thank you for all the birthday congratulations on my wall – I know it was two months ago, this just goes to show how handicapped I am with these virtual social utilities (don’t ever dear to invite me to open any other account/ profile anywhere else, I won’t be able to cope with it!!).

Secondly I want to thank you for all the chickens, the cakes, the golden nuggets, the kisses and the Santas that you have been throwing, blowing, giving and renting to me. It is very nice that I am remembered, even with a chicken, though I suppose you have just programmed your profile to poke me with an object every once in a while, and now I’m being all too emotional about it. Anyway, I feel very honoured for every item received and if I could I would do the same for you (and maybe get classified as something else than a young grasshopper which sounds hopelessly amateur).

Another application I have been tricked to accept is the famous Compare People (I know there’s a button that says X on it to remove – after careful empirical studies I finally know what it does – but for a certain reason I’m still on the list). The certain reason is vanity: How could I possibly survive without the knowledge that I am the nicest and the most loyal of all my friends? And can you believe the frustration when my rankings are not the way they used to be: I’m only the second most loyal of all my friends! Well, I am afraid that after exposing myself like this in public I will have to remove this application, though I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it.

Oh and the second most favourite application is definitely the Superlatives, someone actually vote me as the Most Likely To Be President of United States (please, don’t say you have the title too, or else… I’ll remove you from my friends list, it’s the worst that can happen, most certainly equals to excommunicating from church). Anyway, I don’t know how I’ve ever convinced this friend of mine of my political abilities but I suppose facebook is quite a safe way to characterise people, my friend is probably right.

All right, there is one great thing about facebook: instead of having the good old phonebook (you know the one your parents still have in their drawers, comes in all sizes and colours and has lots of pages and lots of numbers in it), now you have all the emails and data on facebook (includes a photo of your friend, in case you’ll have trouble in connecting a name with a face). But, since I have deeply embedded a mistrust towards anything starting with IT or e, I am sure that one day the whole system will collapse and will never be re-established, so I’m thinking about collecting all the names and emails on one sheet, printing it out and filing it in my archives. So, you just all memorise my email and when that will happen, I’ll be there for you!